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misanthropic-visions

5th post

So, I start college in about 10 days, and i'm nervous outta my mind but also quite excited to start learning new things, and meeting new people. --The one thing that frightens me is taking public transport because that's something i'm not used to and I went with my sister once and my schedule wasn't set at the time so it didn't really fit into my head of what train station is closest to what building. plus, my sister just usually likes to bitch at me with her condescending attitude and then say's she's not "trying to be condescending" but trying to "help" me out. -- Personally, I think she's filled with lies and complete bull really. Besides that no matter how "good" her intentions are for me, I just can't take it seriously. I mean she's been a bitch to me for most of my life and I can't handle it because i don't know how to.-- I talked to my mother personally about how I wanted to transfer out of GSU and then go to UGA (since I'd have a better chance at getting into Berkley). I just emotionally cannot take anyone's shit in the house anymore. Don't get me wrong, no one has abused me or anything but there's only so much a person can take. Being the Middle child really really takes a toll on you sometimes. Sometimes i'm the "glue" and have to keep everyone together so no one loses their heads. Honestly, I want to live a life where I don't have to do that all the god damn time. My younger brother is 16 and now recently learned to do things on his own. I mean he's a very spoiled child, being the youngest and all. Besides that my parents never ever ever ever scolded him until now. He's quite disrespectful to our parents and i have no idea why really. He doesn't have many close friends and I can see that he's lonely and I get it. I've literally been there at 16, lonely, depressed, and just angry. --Anyways, I just hope everything goes well with going on public transport, besides that I'm quite excited about the whole "college life" experience. I definitely need a whole new social life to be comfortable around. So, lets see how that goes.

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