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Is it odd that I'm nearing the end of my teen years, and in a few months I'll be in my 20s, that I haven't had any sort of romantic experience what so ever? In terms of being in an actual relationship, and honestly most of the time I try not to think about it..- I mean, I know that it's alright if I haven't done anything "wild", and what not and honestly I kinda just want to focus on school and get a good job soon enough so I can move out from my parent's house & etc. Except, I hate how all these girls I know are either in a relationship, engaged, married, or has something going on with some guy at their dorm or whatever... 

I've turned a down a few guys because I just honestly wasn't attracted to them at all (if you're not physically attracted to them, then why should you feel obligated?) , and not to mention they were just really really really clingy, like stalker clingy. (i.e. not too long ago I posted a selfie on instagram from a wedding and the weirdo actually thought I got married and went on rant asking if I did actually get married in the comments??) --

 I'm trying to broaden my horizons and just meet more new people as much as I can. I'm a pretty chill and social person at university but there's no one that I talk to outside of class..so it gets pretty lonely..

I really don't have a social life what so ever, and it's been like that since high school tbh. I've grown up with restrictive parents my whole life and even some of my friends say I should "fight for my freedom". However, I can understand why they would mention that, but they're not me and they wouldn't understand the core traditional background comes from. I've always had a very open relationship with my parents, (well not completely open...) but open enough to share simple things with them. I do personally feel thought that guys I get along with are usually American, or Asian ( specifically chinese/korean??). 

Brown guys tend to be narrow minded, even if they've been born in the west and grew up in a western education system their whole lives, they always end up being conceited assholes for some weird reason? I don't hate brown guys but they're all pretty similar and I don't have patience to deal with a guy that's been a spoiled brat from his Daddy's money and thinks he can get whatever he wants. 

I just can't wait for the day when I start working, move out, and with confidence maybe even legally emancipate from my parents. I love my mother to death, but I can't stand being under my father's shadows for the rest of my life. I won't be able to thrive and be the free bird that I want to be. Overall, it's hard to stay focused on being successful when you have no one by your side, no matter how many people say they do. 
Tags: me

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